> I'll refrain from criticizing your for being a chauvinist if you agree to take that behavior someplace else, because it's not for this community. Save that for some toxic no-holds-barred community like Twitter.

No thanks. You don’t get to define what is toxic behavior nor do you speak for this community or others.

Also, grab a dictionary. Your usage of chauvinist here is incorrect.

> There is no evidence their curiosity is ingenuine, that's your image of them but it doesn't have a basis in reality.

They already said they need information about events to have something to talk about. That’s not how conversations work, nor is it how you establish new friendships or build and maintain existing relationships.

> It's based in your biases and preconceptions about social media.

Well they are biases (yours is showing) but they’re not preconceptions, they are just conceptions.

You don't get to define your behavior as nontoxic, either. I'm not arguing about what words mean.

I didn’t define my behavior one way or another. I said I don’t care what you think about it.

I don't believe you, but it doesn't really matter. (I'm happy to admit I have a small investment in helping you see my perspective, for what it's worth. It's part of my human need for connection.)

Why would I care about your opinion of me? If I recall from the thread so far it consists of being chauvinist and toxic. That’s no different than some random person yelling at me from across the street while out walking my dog or something.

Just looking out for you and for the community. If I was being a chauvinist I would want someone to tell me. If someone was being a chauvinist to me I would want someone to say something.

I'm not attacking you, I'm giving you feedback. I'm being as neutral and uninsulting as I can be.

You’re misusing the word chauvinist here or rather if you think you’re not can you please explain what the word means? I don’t understand your usage of it in this context.

> If someone was being a chauvinist to me I would want someone to say something.

On the flip side you’re being condescending toward others, “giving feedback”? C’mon. You know it’s good practice to not give advice to those who don’t ask for it, right?

When someone does something inappropriate, you tell them so as politely as possible. Just like if someone's shoe is untied or has toilet paper on it, you let them know. No one needs to ask, those are the table stakes.

(I would also point out that this thread started because you were offering unsolicited advice about using social media. I could be wrong but it seems to me like you think it's appropriate to offer someone advice unsolicited if you have a perspective that's able to see through their "excuses".)

This was the closest definition to my usage I found (American Heritage #4):

    Exaggerated and unreasoning partisanship to any group or cause.

What I meant was that you were insisting your subjective viewpoint was the only one that was valid. Other viewpoints you reduced to "excuses."

I can see how it comes off condescending, and I apologize for it. There's a paternalistic element to telling someone they've done something inappropriate, and that should be reduced as much as possible, but I don't think it can stop us from saying something altogether.