Hey mate. I don't want to be patronising, but it seems like you're suffering a bit and might benefit from some professional help. I get it, phones can become a stand in attachment figure for people who are experiencing personal difficulties. There are ways to overcome this but it requires professional expertise. I hope you can get some relief from this. These technologies are omnipresent in modern life and for many of us it isn't a simple matter of choosing to disengage. All the best.