My hot take is: if a build v/s buy decision comes up frequently in meetings with your customers, you're a dead man walking. Either figure out a different market altogether, or a different customer segment who don't think they can build it themselves.

Yes, that is a good assessment. Products close enough to this decision that you have to talk about it don't have enough of a moat. Generally, a product should either serve sufficiently complex needs that build is impractical, or serve customers at a small enough price point that buy is obviously cheaper.