You're not the one taking the main risk though: that would be the cyclists and pedestrians around you (as well as other motorists, to a lesser degree).
I appreciate the difficulty of your situation and I really don't want to be a judgemental jerk to you. But also ... yeah, based on what you've written this really doesn't sit well with me.
There's a reason people with things such as epileptic seizures are not permitted to drive unless they're 1) medicated for it, and 2) been free of seizures for a period of time to prove the medication works reliably.
Right, but you're not just risking yourself here, mate. Please reconsider whether or not you should be operating heavy machinery.
Which means when you do inevitably kill someone and ruin the lives of their friends and family you will be culpable and spend a long time in jail.
You are morally on par with a drink driver and deserve zero sympathy from anyone.
I am disabled, unemployed, and live alone and have no other reliable access to transportation. What else am I supposed to do? Simply stop existing?
I am well aware that I am taking a huge risk. It is harm reduction. And as the main underlying issue is anxiety, simply having a safety net (or even the perception of a safety net) has significantly cut down on the anxiety.