It preserved rhumb lines.

Search for "equal-area" in the list of map projections: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_map_projections

You can see that any translation from 3D sphere to 2D plane will always create a tradeoff of geometry somewhere. E.g. Distorted shapes and lines, torn oceans, etc.

I used to say "No human being who has ever lived has made a consequential decision because 'Greenland big brah' and people just need to get over it."

But given the current administration, I...

Wars are won with tanks^W drones, not by measuring the area in a map. Laypeople may be confused, but when a government decides to invade another country or add some economical penalty, they know the real data like real-world-surface, GDP, number of weapons, ...