Sorry I left you with that impression, I certainly didn't mean to. I only mentioned those as great ways to shoot yourself in the foot when you don't have the patience/skill to do the Right Thing.

Sounds like you're better prepared to write that followup than me, but I'll ponder it. Maybe "Database Anti-patterns". Actually, just typing the name makes me think it likely someone's done this sort of thing, but I don't have time to check.