All these superlatives ("voracious appetite", "devours", "conquering America", "dazzling", "crazy number") in the first few paragraphs alone make it sound like an Apple announcement or something.

Also, the "9 pounds of avocados a year" is about 27 avocados/year, or about one avocado every two weeks. Sounds a lot less spectacular. Of course, what we really need to know is many Olympic swimming pools all those avocados would fill.