Matched and Deleted

Re:Matched and Deleted by thrwythrwythrwy on Sunday March 23, 2025 @10:50AM (#43453289)

Personally, I’ve only ever been on three dates my entire life — all of them with women I met on Hinge while I was active on it last year. None went past the first date. When my account was new, I got more matches than I could reasonably handle. But that slowly changed into a trickle, and eventually no matches for months on end. I had lots of motivation to meet someone in the beginning; now I begrudgingly feel resigned to my reality. Who knows, maybe it could’ve been a different story if I was a bit taller, went to a different school, or was a different ethnicity. But there isn’t much I can do about those things. In the meantime, I’m just trying to keep in shape and take care of myself in ways that I can.

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Re:Matched and Deleted by mettamage on Sunday March 23, 2025 @11:42AM (#43453663)

Maybe I can coach you out of it. Email is in my profile. It doesn’t have to be your predicament. We can do some sample coaching (1 to 2 hours), see if it improves and if you find it worth it, the rest on payment as I don’t have the bandwidth to give the attention something like this needs for free.

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Re:Matched and Deleted by fireburning on Sunday March 23, 2025 @02:43PM (#43454857)

one human's struggle is another's riches at least you got some matches?

imagine being so revolting you didn't get any like me keep ya head up

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Re:Matched and Deleted by ozzyphantom on Monday March 24, 2025 @07:38PM (#43466569)

My experience was extremely difficult and I think many people underestimate that unless you get really lucky early on, it’s a lot of work to seriously date.

To be honest I have a lot of the features that people think equal automatic success on a dating app but I would still go weeks, sometimes months without a match. Or worse, get matches but have nobody respond despite taking the time to come up with something funny or interesting to say (not just “hey”).

Something important I realized now that I’m out of it is to take breaks, sometimes long breaks, from any kind of “trying”, whether online or in-person. I took many breaks that were out of a place of being angry at myself for not being attractive or charismatic enough or whatever it was that was causing me to fail. But if I could do it over again, I’d be telling myself that I’m getting tired of this right now, and that’s okay. I’ll put it away for a few weeks or months or even years if I felt I needed that time. Then try again.

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