They mentioned returning to physical buttons on the steering wheel as well. Past VW models (eg. Golf Mk7) have the cruise control button on the steering wheel. I read "five most important functions" as relative to those you would usually find on a centre console, not for overall driving.

On Model Y:

> the volume, the heating on each side of the car, the fans and the hazard light".

Volume - scroll wheel

Heating - voice or screen, screen can be top screen for most functions (it’s editable for most-used functions)

Fans - same as heating, adjusting direction is top screen

Hazards - physical button near rear view mirror

> Presumably lights and wipers are on stalks.

Lights - stalk

Wipers - stalk and scroll wheel

> What about cruise control and related functions?

Autopilot (adaptive cruise control with lane assist) - right stalk and scroll wheel

Note: Article isn’t opening for me (hug of death), so I can’t refer to it.

Hazard lights absolutely are driving controls in some countries. I'd argue all countries.

If you must stop suddenly on a motorway, the hazard lights give additional warning to following vehicles. Switch them on as soon as possible. This is especially important in low visibility or at night.

Fans are also essential. You obviously don't live in a climate where the windscreen can fog up unexpectedly.

As I mentioned, hazards are a physical button. I don’t know what the issue is.

For the fans, usually they turn on automatically, but sometimes I have to turn them on by voice control.

As I have said before, these are all things that are trivially easy to handle without removing one’s hands from the wheel or eyes from the road. Some folks are just hellbent on tilting at this windmill for some reason.