I think you're setting up a too-general argument here. "Asshole" an encompass a huge variety of things, from "actively genocidal" to just "kinda annoying", and everything in between.

I'm pretty "mainstream" demographically (white, straight, cisgender), but if the developer of software I use said something like "all atheists should be shot", I would immediately stop using their software and find something else.

> By choosing not to use free software, you're only depriving yourself.

Sometimes making a statement means enduring some sort of disadvantage or hardship in return. In fact I think that's part of the point. If it doesn't cost me anything to stop supporting something I find offensive, then my (admittedly mild) protest doesn't really have much substance behind it.

In this particular case, there's nothing that the suckless folks have built that doesn't have alternatives that are also free software, so I don't think anyone who refuses to use suckless software is depriving themselves of free software.