> But assuming a Japanese child will have patience where an American will not is the same weird thought that leads to weird guys wanting Japanese wives for 'obedience.'

You are making several jumps in logic to get from A -> B.

Japan has an education system which teaches the importance of certain values, patience and self-discipline among them.

Here is the short-film "Instruments of a Beating Heart" currently on the Oscars shortlist about this very point -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRW0auOiqm4