Most that I've stayed in don't but often have pools and gyms. I suspect it comes down to if they're targeting a 'business traveler', for example it's definitely a thing in 'corporate' hotels or ones by a airport.

I have very rarely used a business center in literally years of days traveling on business. Maybe I've printed a few pages over time.

I’m pretty sure they either fall under “useless features that sound sort of useful when you’re booking a room,” or “alleviating your guilt for not getting a cheaper hotel room on someone else’s dime.”

Probably mostly the former. It's cheap to provide in a larger hotel and some business travelers sort of expect it even if they basically never use.

Most of the hotels I stay at are on the east coast, so that might make a difference because of how much business travel there is there, but even the more family-focused ones in touristy areas have them.