I don't eat meat and don't drive cars. How about you?

As a level 99 druid, I have not moved from this spot in over 300 hundred years. My clothes consist of centuries accumulation of dust. I eat meat, but only beings that choose to end their existence in my perpetually open mouth. I breathe four times a year. I reproduce by sporulation, prodigiously, my offspring is responsible for the ozone layer. I convey this information to you by way of telepathy through an intermediary, Shawn of Ohio, an intern in IT who maintains his WFH infrastructure by peddling a stationary bicycle.

Can’t achieve perfection so goodness is out of question?