The problem with the "solve it with a library" answer is interoperability. You and your dependencies usually need to agree on which paradigm you're going to use.

The Node ecosystem clearly has no consensus on this point. So you spend a lot of time gluing pieces together.

And I do know how to find the style I'm after. At the moment I'm doing a lot with Q, and I have also used node-fibers. But in either case, you end up doing a lot of plumbing, because you end up depending on other people who chose different (or non-existent) high-level flow control abstractions.