> The parents I've seen seem to spend every waking second doting on their children for at least a decade, which seems strange to me. This hovering "what can I do to satisfy your desires" literally just constantly (I've also seen people doing this with their dogs)

parenting doesn't have to be like this for the kids to be happy; in fact, it's probably counter-productive in many cases

I have also seen this and in many cases it's pressure for the kids to succeed. Back in the 70s and early 80s you literally just had to not fall off the wagon, and could get a job and be okay. Wanted to go to Stanford, or become a doctor? Sure it would take some work, but completely doable. Want your kid to go to Stanford now if they like? You have to put your kid through a horribly stressful regime that starts in preschool, and even then it's going to be a lottery. Granted you don't need to go to Stanford to be happy but my point being that you want your kids to have opportunities, and getting those opportunities is SO FUCKING HARDER than it was for you as the parent when you were young (and way way harder than your own parents). And so you have to optimize for it, and the earlier you start, the better your chances. It's crushing for the parents and the kids. And the more successful the parents were, the more pressure to give their kids the same opportunities they had.