I had a database of all SSNs for a while, but it was on a work laptop, so I didn't get to keep it.

Here you go; every SSN: https://github.com/panzertime/every_ssn

Thanks. Now I can always double check mine!

It's missing names and addresses and credit scores and emails and phones

Feel free to open a pull request!

Agreed: The real joke is any organization using SSNs as an authentication mechanism (as opposed to an identifier).

Nothing>door>door with lock

Both in terms of security, and in the crime of vulnerating it.