While I apparently where underpaid, my boss and I had a pretty good relationship, but he didn't think a 50+% pay raise, so my wife could stay at home, was realistic, but I did ask.

My wife's boss recommended getting an au pair, she pointed out that he's aware of how much she makes, and that it was a stupid suggestion that he know that we wouldn't be able to afford that.

Also other families that are in the same boat and trade pickup days, etc.

This is also how you build community, so has many benefits beyond cost.

Good point!

Historically, you had grandparents or other extended family (which was the case when I was growing up with two working parents). But that's far less common in the US today.