I’ve told myself I must have been at fault. I’m forgetful, I must have taken too much. I must have already been in a bad state. Whatever.

I quite literally almost died. I didn’t put anyone else at risk; nothing like it. But I went into a horrifying dark mental state and couldn’t imagine ever exiting it.

I tapered off and it took months to feel some semblance of normality again. I look back on it with a sense of fear. I genuinely lost my mind. I’ve taken psychedelics and even quite a lot of them at times and know the feeling of losing my ego and having a loss of control, but never have I felt so utterly disconnected and void.

I’ve wondered ever since how much this affects other people. Or how often it’s reported. I never told a soul until very recently.