>It's even flexible enough to allow for regional differences, which allows my fellow Americans and I to spell words correctly like color and theater.

As I recall, the American spelling of color and other words like that was actually dictated by a "pompous authority", namely Noah Webster, who write the dictionary bearing his name. He wanted to simplify some spellings he saw as overly complicated. I happen to agree with him, but this wasn't because of regular, everyday people in different regions.