> Why is any attempt at financial privacy deemed money laundering?

Ummm. Taxes?

Money laundering is very clearly accounting fraud. If embezzlement is a crime, then money laundering is just embezzlement in reverse.

I feel like you are down an absolutist rabbithole about privacy. There are certain practical limits to privacy. You cannot blight yourself from other people's vision. You cannot operate in a society (whether it be grocery shopping, owning property, driving a car) without existing in some form. "Privacy" only makes sense in the context and is not some maximalist ideal that you can apply to any situation.