Also those paper straws are full of PTFE :(

You have something that's too viscous and your solution is to put it thru a straw? Am I getting that right?

Yes. Have you had milkshakes? You should try 'em, they're good.

So people are buying their daily caffeinated milkshake from Starbucks, and we wonder why there's an obesity crisis in America.

I drink a milkshake occasionally, non-caffeinated (just plain old vanilla), from a local place, I'm not obese and I'm not from America. Why are you setting up a straw man and getting upset about it?

I guess technically, this whole comment section is just straw man arguments.

But aside from the pun, we're talking about Starbucks. That is supposed to be a coffee/espresso business. You should be able to drink those without a straw. The fact that espresso milkshakes are so overwhelmingly popular that people require straws from Starbucks in America really isn't a straw man argument, it is entirely relevant. If people weren't buying milkshakes from an espresso stand, they wouldn't need straws. I certainly don't need a straw for any variety of normal espresso. The fact that daily caffeinated milkshakes are normalized in America is very likely linked with our obesity crisis.

They also require plastic see-through containers so that people can visually see the layers on their milkshake.

We'd be doing better if that didn't exit or was considered much more niche rather than entirely mainstream.

I thought we were on a tangent that relates to the new Starbucks CEO's commuting habits as compared to us plebeians who have to make do with paper straws to spare the environment. I guess obesity caused by Starbucks milkshakes tangentially relates to that in turn, but I wouldn't call it entirely relevant. As far as your point goes I agree, as a European I had no idea Starbucks espresso milkshakes were even a thing and it doesn't surprise me at all that a daily Big Gulp of sugar and caffeine makes people fat. People can do whatever they want, but I wouldn't.

The problem is that without a straw to mediate the max volume you can move, you end up with a massive blob of viscous liquid. When you get enough of an angle to start it moving, it will move as one and end up all over your face.