Gotta give the hemorrhoid doctors some work. Ideally you should finish your business rather fast, but I think a lot of people simply find a nice break on the toilet. Obviously food has an impact but if any type of *vore has long shits it’s probably because they aren’t getting enough fibre, another boon for the hemorrhoid doctors!

The reason I know a shit should take 30 seconds is because there is this Danish doctor who has spent like 30 years studying how we shit, and her name is Gert which is typically a male name. Anyway some years back she was on TV telling the nation how to shit, and it sort of went viral and now everyone above a certain age basically knows who Gert “who knows how to shit” is.