Sure, the small-print is always going to say "anything bad that happens is someone else's fault", but it's a bit embarrassing when you put it next to their marketing materials.

I recently was asked to sign a thing saying it's my fault if I die while getting my hair colored

Oddly this is a thing: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertebrobasilar_insufficienc...

Interesting! Happy to report I survived

"Sure the small-print is always going to say "anything bad that happens is someone else's fault", ..."

But that's not what this "small-print" says, i.e., the text you quoted and the terms and conditions page linked to in your comment.

Generally, it is not possible to disclaim liability for death, physical injury or property damage. The Crowdstrike disclaimer does not attempt to do so.

Nor do the terms ask the software user to assume any risk of death, physical injury or property damage. (Except for a warning about using "Malware Samples".)