Re:Ask HN: How did you become a good listener?
by prashantsengar on Monday July 08, 2024 @02:26PM
(#40907928)
I got a 404 when opening your link. I had to go to https://josephrmartinez.github.io/reactionsjournal/ then click around to go to that page
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Re:Ask HN: How did you become a good listener?
by josephrmartinez on Monday July 08, 2024 @03:36PM
(#40908704)
Eep! Thanks for pointing that out. I'll just put the list here:
- Giving advice
- Changing the subject
- Dismissing feelings
- Leading questions
- Devil's advocate
- Sympathy (e.g. "I know exactly what you're going through...")
- Commiserating
- Defensiveness
- Static labeling
- Sarcasm
- Shutting down
- Intellectualizing
- One-upping
- Storytelling
Not saying these are all bad all the time. Just things to maybe start noticing. See what happens when you just hold off on these types of reactions for a moment.
You don't even have to do anything. Just... chill. Be silent. Think about what the person said.
I've found this is a more actionable place to start than something like "read this book" or "take this course"