The "throw" was more of a shove and the thing went flying in my general direction.
The only thing that chair was going to hurt was my feelings.
It was far less scary than the office where I sat on an ammo shipment.
It well fucking should be a space where I'm safe from my boss throwing large projectiles at me.
In these situations I find conflict is buried rather than resolved in a calm & understanding way. Without the latter being the example, the incentives are to go along to get along - meanwhile there is no longer a mechanism to resolve a disagreement. Suddenly then in review, you're "that guy" that is delaying things, and the both reviewer and reviewee don't have a healthy culture to talk through the issues.
Sorry for the rant, I think the downvotes are a reaction to the shock that some teams can have healthy conflict and work through them - and it can look like yelling sometimes (often yelling is just that, yelling.. but when a team is actual friends with another - they will have their own unique ways to address conflict).
I would work for that man again in a heart beat. Because for as much as he was apt to yell, or dress me down, he was also willing to give good advice, to elevate, to teach.
The office is not a safe space. You seem to know what's wrong, IM sure you have asked nicely. I am sure you offered the carrot, but does your team know you have a stick?
> The same people leave detailed comments on others' merge requests
Call these people out, in public, for doing good work. Tell everyone they are setting the bar and others are not living up to it.
> People blindly accept suggestions
Coaching, lots of one on one coaching about finding and having a voice. Lots of "team building" where you level out the playing field with the strong vs weak voices. Figure out what those quiet ones excel at and do a fun activity around that. Let them find legs...
> People send their MRs to side channels or other teams
Stick. Harshly worded emails. Down dressing in public. Telling your team that in no uncertain terms that "this is unacceptable behavior"
As for the chair thrower... He was always fair, he always had his team first, I grew as a person, a manager and an engineer working for him. Its not growing happy go lucky good times while I get a pay check, its Growing pains, spreading that (pain) around is part of your job.