I know, right? You've tried harder than me. I don't think I've tried more than a few times and probably didn't crack 15 minutes! I can clear my thoughts of everything except how bored I am and how long a minute feels with this level of boredom.

Love how well you articulate these notions. They are truly valid for most of us. It also means you're doing it right. The point then is to stay with the practice until you can stop fighting the notion of boredom and instead be "friends" with it. Just be fine with the boredom. Learn to relax in it. Hope you'll try it again.

As someone who taught meditation, this is very common. It’s kind of being like addicted to action (to put it bluntly , sorry for that)

Boredom is just one perspective of the mind. For you it might be more beneficial to approach meditation in other ways before sitting still or lie down. For example : when I do indoor climbing I almost get into this meditative state where only the next step matters. Some friends report surfing does this for them.

Observation is the key word, or experience of mind as it goes through different processes (say boredom, sleep, happiness, concentration, building something)

And of course no one ever says this. It's always presented as a "if you do it the right way, and do it enough, then it just works", which is definitely bullshit and even starts to trigger my cult response.

After a month and a half of intensive study that made no difference whatsoever, I'm pretty much done. The marginal benefits don't at all seem worth the extreme effort.

Now I just write instead. It's far more relaxing.

This is absolutely fine, I think of the hundreds of people I taught, I would say 5-10% simply didn’t not catch on at all, no matter my angle of teaching. In those cases I would focus on relaxation above all, like you already gathered yourself.

That said the different pathways to the experience you would call deep meditation is very diverse, and sometimes it’s also a phase/station of life people need to be in. In old texts these things are often described as different temperaments, so I doubt it’s a new thing :D

What is the boredom response? As in what do you think is telling you that you're bored?

Being bored isn't something you are necessarily. It's not a state, it's not something like anger, or fear, it's not a physiological thing.