Yes, I agree these are lofty ideals to harbor. But I reserve them for when I'm drinking hot chocolate next to my non-existent fireplace in the comfort of my own home.

If you're sweating your socks off trying to get a plane ticket last minute on the go, someone telling you for whatever reason to update your OS can kindly fuck-off.

That's utter contempt for your users and a non-option pure and simple. The only real option is to hug and hold onto your non-Safari browser for dear life.