Same here, it's a time for re-connecting with family and friends. We reminisce about the deceased, and we're connected by those stories. Some of the foods are generational, baked by great-great-aunts, or even a particular store-bought bakery good (Market Basket Donuts). No one would ever eat these on a regular day, but somehow, the platter disappears during the afterparty.
Without the party afterward? Most of the funerals I've been to here in the Eastern US involve feeling sad during the service and/or burial, and then a reception afterward where the mood lightens and you have a good time celebrating the person.