All we have are three raccoons in a trashcan, but you'll be able to fit this in the current sprint, right?

The problem with that. Maintenance. Team X writes a micorservice in Node. Team A->W write in elixir. Bug in Micro_X and tada... company is screwed. No one wants to learn Node, so the bugs stay around, get worked around and then Micro_X gets re-written in elixir, because coders have to fix stuff.

That is painfully accurate. My usual response to it is https://despair.com/products/break-the-rules

It usually gives me angry looks at first, but thanks after several years when there's enough turnover.

Terrible engineering is also possible in the monolith, it’s just significantly harder to rewrite sour bits of monolith independently.