That is a crazy situation, which I've never even contemplated!

But:

> There’s even a clock we hate, hardwired into the wall, pointed directly at the master bedroom shower

That wouldn't survive the night in my house.

It's not necessarily about the former owner being nefarious. If they reset devices before moving, or just abandoned the systems, they could be unpatched/exploitable, or even failing "open" from a security perspective.

Get a screwdriver!