If I can walk less than a mile to a theatre and pay $10 to watch a movie on a giant screen, I won't want to pay $10k to create a home theatre. If I can get food from around the world by walking 10 minutes to 20+ restaurants, I won't want to pay $20k to have an 800 sq.ft. kitchen. If I can entertain my guests at a community center or beer garden, I won't need to have a $15k patio and outdoor bar area.

People pay absurd amounts for these things because they can't get them in their own community.

> If I can walk less than a mile to a theatre and pay $10 to watch a movie on a giant screen, I won't want to pay $10k to create a home theatre.

What theater are you used to that lets you pick what's shown for $10, vs just a dozen or two movies at once?

> If I can get food from around the world by walking 10 minutes to 20+ restaurants, I won't want to pay $20k to have an 800 sq.ft. kitchen.

What restaurants are you going to where it's cost-effective to eat every meal out instead of doing some of your cooking at home?

> If I can entertain my guests at a community center or beer garden, I won't need to have a $15k patio and outdoor bar area.

What community center are you going to where there's never scheduling conflicts or events? Where you can choose your own landscaping and plants to grow, and do whatever hobbies you want? Where your pet can bask in the sun all day?

Get a bigger imagination about why people want personal space!

(You might also be suprised by how many people in the US can already drive <=10minutes to all the things on your list - and wouldn't see that as a big hindrance compared to walking - and STILL get versions of them in their own home too, to point at some existing evidence to the contrary.)

I'm not saying that no one will want their own mansion far away from the city. I'm just saying that a lot of people don't want to pay for their own movie theatre and restaurant size kitchen. Some people just want a tiny kitchen in a house near a theatre and some amazing restaurants that costs 1/10th of what a mansion costs.

Density spoils many of these examples, being in close proximity to a random collection of people has downsides. Why would I go to a theatre with people who cough and talk, when I can spend a couple of months wage to have a better experience? Why would I go to a crowded expensive bar when I could have the space to host at home?

People pay for the better experience, there are very few places where the apartment experience is desirable, only some where it's a bit less shit.

I'm not saying that no one would build their own home theatre or restaurant sized kitchen. But a lot of people honestly wouldn't bother if they had other options in their community. It moves the cost/benefit curve over by a standard deviation or two.

I think you are advocating for trying to make the experience of apartment living less shit, based on some idea that density is inherently good. However there is no example where this is the case, as less density always allows individuals more control over their immediate environment. I don't believe people choose community options deliberately, people who use them simply have no alternative. There is no positive evaluation being done, or cost/benifit it's simply the only affordable option.

I think these preferences just aren't universal is the problem, as shown by the disagreement in this thread. For me, many of these things I'd rather enjoy in my own home because the additional comfort and privacy is something that I highly value. That is, I'm willing to pay more not because my community doesn't offer it, but because I value being able to define my own experience.

That said though, I do agree that community options are missing in many American towns/cities today, and I wish people at least had the choice.

Now have fun doing all that with 2 young kids in tow and the cost of paying for them.