Damnit, I can't believe I typed that, and didn't catch it. Goes to show how bad my Japanese has gotten over the past year. I really need to start studying again, and not just chattering with my girlfriend.
Yeah, 大変申し訳あります sounds like something you'd see in 漫才.
Though I've tried using 申し訳あります (literally, there is an excuse) before as a joke to lighten the mood when apologizing. I'm not sure they got it.