It's also just very situation-dependent. I live in at least the periphery of a HCoL East Coast urban area but I have a paid-off house, don't have kid-related expenses, and don't eat out a lot (especially expensively) in the local area. I do travel a fair bit but those costs would be similar no matter where I lived. So, for me, I don't really live in an HCoL area to the same degree as if I were renting in the city and going out on the town all the time or were paying for childcare.