Is this satire?
Some fancy password manager service can be attacked by anyone with a network connection or the budget to buy the company. And there's an actual incentive to attack the password service because it doesn't just have parent's passwords, it has many passwords.
I think the only downside to the sheet of paper is that people with physical access are probably more likely to be specifically interested in you, and therefore willing to put in the effort to figure it out. But they'd probably figure it out anyway if they're that interested (install a keylogger or camera or something).
For sure, but hopefully folks are using solutions where the provider can't decrypt their data, much less attackers.
Have you ever had to hope that your lined paper wasn't going to fuck you over?
(keepass2/keepass xc are more user-friendly and free, strongbox is another good front-end for keepass files as well.)
I don't have "real" social media accounts to begin with, so my life won't be ruined even if someone cracked all my passwords. Mostly it's just accounts for various online shops I've used during the years. I really don't care if someone hacks those. And access to my bank is pretty much worthless if you don't have my phone and the pin code sheet too. Well I don't have big money in bank anyway, so the crime doesn't pay well in any case.