When I take the output apart: The first sentence is to the point and short. The second is potentially redundant but might increase the likelihood of a reply. The third one is perhaps a bit over the top and could be merged shorter with the second (e.g., "... looking for, but I was wondering if ..."). Next one is just basic politeness. Last one feels optional but might at the margin increase likelihood/speed of reply.

Not perfect but not bad either (assuming a human reader on the receiving side).