> Isn't Spotify one of the "special" companies that Apple bent to and gave an exception just for them?

Nope. Under the old rules any company with a free app used to access subscription content didn't have to pay anything unless they took payments through their app.

Netflix would be another example.

> pointing users to subscriptions and payments outside of the app is explicitly not allowed

It's definitely allowed now, since that's the only point on which Epic won their case vs. Apple.