Hey, you read the article that inspired the artifact! linked...

A rock would be too simple; this is PHP, after all.

(Where's my NailDriverDeviceFactoryModuleImpl?)

You're confused with Java. In PHP it is simple, just counter-intuitive and set up to mislead you. It would look like a rock but turn into a viscous liquid as soon as you try to hit the nail and the nails get stuck in it.

Sounds like a description of a non-newtonian fluid, like maize flour mixed with water (which you can compact in your hand but liquefies when thrown), or quicksand.

In Java it would be:

DeviceFactoryFactory().createDeviceFactory().getNailDriverDeviceFactoryModuleImpl();

http://steve-yegge.blogspot.com.au/2006/03/execution-in-king... For the lack of a nail, throw new HorseshoeNailNotFoundException("no nails!");

I once watched an ape-man try to use modern tools. He didn't get anything done, because he spent all his time trying to figure out how to use them. Simple people need simple tools. We thus can't complain about the existence of such tools.

Where did you see an actual ape-man?

A PHP conference, perhaps? :D

More likely at a Rails conference ;-)

I'll have you know that a good Ape man doesn't need a stick. He uses his eye-socket!