> It seems like pretty much everyone accept this as the default position.

I never did. Never really got it either, and I have the same problems. I think most people are also religious which I am not, and I think that drives a lot of meaning and behavior. I believe it's actually the largest correlation with birthrate; more religious societies have more children.

I'll be a bit provocative and say that mostly I've come to believe that children are status symbols, especially for the non-religious.