Oh come on, spreadsheets aren't that bad. Excel has had named ranges forever, and they can be scoped to the worksheet so they aren't completely global.

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/excel-help/define-and-use-...

And functions can be VBA so the state of those global variables isn't the only way for functions to talk to each other. e.g.

    Dim x As Integer

    Function setx(n)
        x = n
        setx = 1
    End Function

    Function getx()
        getx = x
    End Function

and then you can put =setx(200) in one cell and =getx() in another. It is hard to look at the whole thing at once, but when do you need to do that?