I wish you the best of luck - not cynically. Especially when your kid can buy their own lunch at school (even if you packed one).

In my school district, they will NOT stop a kid from eating what they want to eat. Personally, I don't argue with that. They need to consume something so better it be something that they'll actually eat than nothing (which happens, trust me)

The best we can do is model good habits and provide a solid foundation.

I remember in high school I had a stint of having crouton salads for lunch. That’s exactly as it sounds.

It's pretty easy until school, or daycare, or television enters the picture.

My plan for tv is to start with Season 1 of Sesame Street from the 1970s which is on HBO Max. Work up from there. But yah it’s going to be hard.

There is no strategy. You're up against the best devils Madison Avenue has to offer and peer pressure. Even if you win on this front you're going to lose on others. That's the fact of raising a kid in the 21st century in an advertising-saturated culture.

> Not to be a jerk, but just don’t ever introduce the concept of pouches.

TBH this does sound like a real jerk comment (especially given the lack of any ability to travel backwards in time), but it is nonetheless correct. IME, the less they have of that stuff the less the less they'll want it.

Still, different kids are different. When dealing with a kid who's lost their mind due to hunger (and for those who doubt, that's a real thing, not an exaggeration), having to choose between offering healthy food or no food can be a no-win situation.

I only have one kid but our experience matched yours: we didn't change our own eating habits once we had a kid (well, fewer restaurants) and kid got what we got (not solid food when baby of course, and milder curries) so there wasn't really much to argue about. We didn't care what he ate when visiting friends, or at school, and didn't make a big deal about it. Two parents from two countries, both immigrants: our food was just what it was. Now he's grown up and eats better than I do.

And that was my own experience too: 60 years ago we brought "weird" lunches compared to the other kids at school. We all traded a bit of course and I don't remember it being a big deal, though my sister complained so maybe I was just an oblivious nerd.

That's a great plan, until you're exhausted at the grocery store and your kid sees another kid eating one and starts screaming that they want one.

Source: parent who swore up and down that they were going to make their own purees, and immediately caved when they realized just how much gddmn*d food a 9 month old goes through in a week. I was sure I was going to be a hyper-organic, make everything fresh type parent, and now we give him frozen pancakes and squeeze pouches. It turns out that getting kids calories is hard enough without having to make it all yourself.

And them getting any calories is usually more important than me being super choosy about the composition of those calories. I was very proactive about all of this for quite a while but have relaxed somewhat as things evolve at home.

Also, many things fall into the not-ideal bucket. That doesn’t just mean the quality of the ingredients but also the specific food. Someone else mentioned chickpea pasta - and it’s great. But it’s also still partially processed. But because it’s not pure generic pasta, it’s ok? I don’t know.

I really prioritize the quality of things as much as possible rather than worrying in detail about whether they are metabolic superpowers or the opposite.