I have seen numerous interviews with people who are religious. They have that community. I know, I know, I'm not encouraging you to become religious, but it is pretty hard to beat as a community. However, for non-religious people, yes, I think in-person/in-real-life community is in broad decline. When I go to public events now, most people are looking at their phones, or talking with the one friend they came with. Drinking helps to lower the barrier a bit. Try a wine tasting event. They aren't very loud and only modestly business oriented. Mostly they are about mixing and pretending that you really are there to drink a little too much and chat with someone cute. Also, don't worry if the first wine tasting event doesn't feel right. You can use the first event as a springboard to find other small, inclusive wine tasting events. Those are the secret sauce and the gender balance can be good -- way better than craft beer festivals (sausage fest).