Re:'It's quite soul-destroying': how we fell out of love wit...
by oooyay on Sunday October 29, 2023 @12:34PM
(#38060191)
> I want to propose a different hypothesis - men and women lie differently. Men are more likely to say they got no matches on a dating site and complain whereas women are more likely to keep quiet of they get few to no matches and exaggerate the number they do get.
Frankly, there's a lot of misandry in the form of "men don't try enough to improve themselves" in this thread alongside a slue of Handmaids Tale-esque incel misogyny. People need to take a step back and really think about their pet theories.
My theory removes blame from the genders. It's the apps and their form of gamification. These apps, if you are any form of a minority on them, requires that you pay to be seen and less men have less disposable income to throw $200-$300 at dating while also paying for the cost of dating, so they're using the standard experience of the app.
Note none of this theory requires rating men or women or trying to come up with implicit biases or trying to shade someone with the equivalent of "get good". All of that is incredibly toxic. Most of them time when a system fails, it's the system that is to blame. In this case the system is the app.
The data about matches wasn't from a poll, it's from the data that companies released, had extracted through GDPR requests, or in one case an engineer doing a study: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-state-of-our-uni...
Frankly, there's a lot of misandry in the form of "men don't try enough to improve themselves" in this thread alongside a slue of Handmaids Tale-esque incel misogyny. People need to take a step back and really think about their pet theories.
My theory removes blame from the genders. It's the apps and their form of gamification. These apps, if you are any form of a minority on them, requires that you pay to be seen and less men have less disposable income to throw $200-$300 at dating while also paying for the cost of dating, so they're using the standard experience of the app.
Note none of this theory requires rating men or women or trying to come up with implicit biases or trying to shade someone with the equivalent of "get good". All of that is incredibly toxic. Most of them time when a system fails, it's the system that is to blame. In this case the system is the app.