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A comment on Why Children of Married Parents Do Better. Parent comment

Re:Why Children of Married Parents Do Better by johnnyanmac on Monday October 23, 2023 @12:14AM (#37981540)
Do you have statistics to support that fathers leave due to "toxic masculinity"? Only statistics I'm aware of is that divorce rates are up and the #1 divorce rate are due to financial issues.regardless, "someone who X is Y" is not a statistic, it's a stereotype (which may or may not have statistical support).

I don't know of much literature that looks into single mother's and why they are single.

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Re:Why Children of Married Parents Do Better by randomdata on Monday October 23, 2023 @09:06AM (#37985063)
> #1 divorce rate are due to financial issues

Stands to reason. For what other purpose would you get divorced? If you can't stand the person anymore, they are abusive, or whatever you can simply part ways. The only reason you would initiate divorce is to get help sorting out the financial aspects of the relationship.

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Re:Why Children of Married Parents Do Better by johnnyanmac on Monday October 23, 2023 @11:51AM (#37987445)
I believe #2 is infidelity.

Looking it up: https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/common-causes-d...

I was slightly incorrect. Financial reasons was the #1 reason to get married. Apparently the #1 reason for divorce was "lack of family support". Which I suppose can still come down to financial issues in some way.

Though, it does seem to shift depending on the stage of marriage. First year divorces happen mostly due to incompatibility, whereas long term (8+ years) happens due to infidelity.

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Re:Why Children of Married Parents Do Better by randomdata on Monday October 23, 2023 @01:59PM (#37989237)
It seems that is actually focused on the relationship breakdown and conflating it with divorce. Like, if infidelity lead you to never want to look at the other person again, you could just carry out the rest of your life pretending they don't exist. You don't need to go to the lengths of divorce for that division. But if you want to sort out the financial separation of the relationship and cannot reach agreeable terms without an intermediary, then divorce may become necessary.
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Re:Why Children of Married Parents Do Better by johnnyanmac on Monday October 23, 2023 @02:22PM (#37989544)
It has many different breakdowns, including why they marry, why they break up, and what they feel could have saved the relationship. It's more comprehensive than just divorce.

>Like, if infidelity lead you to never want to look at the other person again, you could just carry out the rest of your life pretending they don't exist.

Sure, not all infidelity leads to divorce, some stay together for the kids, others forgive or drop it, others "get even" and then forgive/drop it. Infidelity also isn't illegal and open relationships are a thing, so you can indeed remain legally married and proceed to date aroind as if you are single.

But general societal pressure dictate that if you want to properly separate you divorce. Which is probably why the top two reason come from not being a good partner (i.e. Being unable or unwilling to take care of the family or not being faithful).

Polygamy is also a problem: because while there's no real punishment for it in society for engaging in polygamy, you are legally not allowed to have multiple spouses. If you ever imagine re-marrying you want to get that divorce over with ASAP. And the process can take a while.

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Re:Why Children of Married Parents Do Better by randomdata on Monday October 23, 2023 @02:39PM (#37989785)
> But general societal pressure dictate that if you want to properly separate you divorce.

But isn't that still directly related to finances? The article kind of touches on the same point, where women are "giving up on men" who not in a good financial position. Not having your finances sorted out with a former partner would also question one's financial position. The pressure stems from one not wanting to look like someone who cannot manage finances.

> If you ever imagine re-marrying

But circling back, you pointed out that the people get married is for financial reasons.

Which makes sense as the modern marriage contract doesn't cover anything other than finances. Maybe there was an earlier age where there was more to it, but we don't uphold those values anymore.

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