I was going to say the same thing. My passport was stolen from a mail truck a few years ago and the last update I got from the postal inspectors was that they gave up and told me I wasn't getting my parcel back, and that I should cut my losses. And that was only about 2 weeks after the theft occurred, although they did send me automated "we haven't made progress" emails every 6 months until the case was officially closed. Their "investigation" might as well have never happened.

For some reason, the internet thinks they are a group of James Bond secret agents. In my experience dealing with them, they are TSA level, totally indifferent schlubby federal workers waiting for their pension to vest.