The more exposure I have to the health insurance system, the more convinced I am that nobody actually knows what they're doing. For all the insight the average action has, the corresponding actor might as well be a computer program that only compiles on Borland Turbo C++ trying to parse a policy expressed in malformed XML edited by an unpaid intern a decade later.

I once got a bill nearly a year after the actual treatment, with a line item that differed only by the description field's whitespace and punctuation from a charge I knew I'd already paid. There was a smaller line item on that bill that I probably hadn't paid, but just through the magic of calling the phone number and sitting through hold, I was told not to pay anything.