I think her point is that managing your home automation through this level of involvement is not the end goal she’s looking for. I may be wrong, but it sounds like she wants stuff to plug in and work without having to go down the road of setting up custom automation stitching stuff.

I love Home Assistant, but I regularly find myself opening the Hue and Lutron apps anyway. And I’m someone who runs a NUC. I don’t mind administration, but I don’t want to HAVE to do that when I’ve already paid for a thing that supposedly does most of that.