Pretty sure this is what DDC is supposed to solve. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Display_Data_Channel which is why this EDID post reminded me of this problem.

Problem is, regular DDC utils don't know how to communicate with this particular display.

Joke is on me, I shouldn't have spent $1,500 on a display that is pretty much exclusively designed to be connected to a Mac. But I was using it with a Mac for a while before building this new Linux box.