And tea in the UK has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with elitism. The very opposite: tea serves the same function as coffee does in the USA, cutting across all class and status.
In fact the kind of tea you drink in the USA tends towards being what people here would call "posh" tea, because you drink the more unusual, expensive stuff as infrequent drinkers. Most of what we drink is robust and cheap.
Americans find our tea to be the same way we find your coffee: a distinct culture and taste that is acquired, not instantly loved.
(We'll leave it to the Aussies and New Zealanders to talk to you about your coffee; they came over and fixed ours.)
But I am reminded that it is foolish to try to convey a point in a humorous way on Hacker News. I am also reminded that you guys low-key hate us.
The reason Americans don't have a super fast boiling kettle is that very few Americans WANT a very fast boiling kettle for large portions of water. If an American wants a cup of tea, two minutes or less in the microwave is sufficient. I don't care if you think that's bad, because I want a cup of tea, not some elitist purity contest.