> deeply inculcated desire is parental praise. I feel it even now - peer approval is meaningless; only that pat on the back matters

I ended up that way as a public school student. Perhaps my classmates were morons, but probably not. Just never was captivated by whatever inane camaraderie-building stunts they wanted.

This did change when I joined the marching band. The specialist instructors being barely out of high school themselves helped because the things they'd give you a gold sticker for suddenly were aligned with what my peers would want to see.