Right? Frankly this is barely an exaggerated tl;dr:

My Godson was randomly obsessed with Elvis for one summer so years later I forced him to go to Graceland but he wanted to be on snapchat and also watches porn. I needed to understand why this happened so I traveled to 3 different continents to speak with experts but I won't tell you much about what they said. I vacationed to Provincetown and did a digital detox I saw on Oprah. Anyway we should just tell Google and Facebook to shutdown. We must fight for these rights like feminists fought for abortion rights (which they just lost) we can't blame ourselves for this problem, its systemic.

Thanks I needed a tl:dr; I definitely didn't have the attention span to read it all!